The Moments That Haunt Us
by mejef13
Summary: Ann has constant nightmares of the night Ryuji almost died. Will he be able to help her through her trauma?


Ann woke up covered in sweat. Her breaths came out short and panicked as tears streamed down her cheeks. A now usual wave of nausea overtook her, as she lay her head in her hands. It has been 8 months since the phantom thieves stole Shido's heart, but the memory of that night still plagued her thoughts. Thoughts of him, and what could've been his stupid sacrifice. It had been like this for a while with Kamoshida as well. Dreaming of Shiho's suicide attempt in the worst, most twisted ways ever; but due to the craziness that ensued after Kamoshida she didn't have time to dwell on it. Now though, there was no one left to take care of, no more hearts they could /

Tonight's dream had been one of the worst most gruesome ones she had yet to encounter. They all start the same, they're on the ship, the see the lifeboat, and then Ryuji offers to run. Some nights the dream would end up with Ryuji tripping and all of them dying, Ann's favorite outcome as none was a happy end. But most nights she wasn't lucky enough for that outcome. The most common one is Ryuji dying in the explosion and them either never finding his body, or finding it in the real world in some /

Tonight was different though. This time when the ship exploded, and he gave her that damn thumbs up, Ryuji went everywhere. Blood went everywhere, guts went everywhere, he went everywhere. As much as she wanted to block it she remembered catching a piece of his body. She couldn't remember which, not like she wanted too. Around her, her team screamed. But she screamed for who knows how long. She cried for who knows how long, it felt like an eternity. Of course, the dream gods didn't let her off. After that, she carried the piece of him to his mother and apologized. Apologized for everything. For not being a better friend. For letting Kamoshida abuse him. For continuing as phantom /

Then she woke /

Crawling out of her bed, she walked to her kitchen to get some water. After taking only a sip Ann now felt her burning and hoarse throat. She must've screamed in real life as well. The clock on her stove read 2:53 AM. With it being summer a convenience store or gas station must be /

With that thought, she slipped on her shoes and grabbed her keys. Venturing out into the night./p

pThe chill summer air pricked her arms, as she trudged to the nearest 7/11. Clearly regretting her choice of not bringing a /

As she walked through the sliding doors, a half-asleep clerk welcomed her. She nodded and made her way down the candy aisle. The gruesome parts of the dream still replayed in her mind, as she tried to decide which treat would make her feel better. Of course, there's not really a go-to treat people have after dreaming about someone close to them dying. After standing and standing she finally grabbed a pack of Swedish fish and headed to the clerk. Her thoughts were so deep she didn't notice another person had wandered into the store and happened to get in line before her. She cast her eyes to the ground and thought. She wondered what it would've been like had Ryuji actually /

Would she had gone to his mom? Would she have apologized? What would the world be like without Ryuji Sakamoto? It would've been her fault right? I mean, if she was just a better person, she could've stopped Kamoshida from breaking his leg, right?br /

"Ann" an all but to familiar voice tore her from her thoughts. In front of her, paying for his items was Ryuji himself. A look of pure horror crossed her face and the package of candies fell from her hand. Ryuji looked taken aback by her reaction but before either could process Ann was running. Through the doors, and down the street she ran. She didn't know where but she ran. She ran even when she tripped over her own feet, scraping her knees and hands in the process. Tears spilled from her eyes. She didn't know why. Why is she running? Why is she crying? The street lamps lit her up like a beacon. Blonde hair and wet face, if anyone was out they'd surely think she was in some sort of trouble. But no one was. Finally, though the burning in her chest became too much, and her knees gave out. She sat on the sidewalk of some residential area. Knees and hands soaked with sticky blood. Rocks dug into the painful scrapes of her open wounds but she didn't care. As she cried into her hands, the tears cause blood to run down her /

A thought of true horror came to mind. One that she had often. I should've been the /

She knew deep down this too be /

She should've been the one Kamoshida /

She should've been the one to sacrifice herself for the /

She should've been the /

As she sobbed into her hands, she didn't hear the heavy footsteps coming up behind /

"Ann! Ann? Are you ok?" Ryuji asked, breathing in heavy pants. Ann kept her face buried in her hands as she shook her head, sobs refusing to quiet down. Ryuji kneeled beside her on the road and rubbed her back, his bag of goods from the store was put beside /

He gave soft words of reassurance. Trying his best to help in a situation he knew nothing /

"Your house is nearby yea?" He asked. She again nodded, as the sobs slowly started to /

"Alright. Come on let's get you home" He offered. He somehow managed to position her on his back and started to make his way towards her house. She buried her head into his neck as she cried. Her sore, but bleeding no more hands resting limply on his /

He managed to get into her apartment building and to her door only to be met with the very obvious roadblock of not having a key. Ann handed him her keychain before he opened his mouth. He unlocked the door, flicked on the lights and placed her sitting on the kitchen /

"Where's your first aid kit?" He asked, taking off his /

"The first cabinet in the washroom" She sniffled. She wondered how she looked. Her eyes were puffy, and cheeks were read for sure. Her hair was probably a rats nest. She wore an old PJ shirt and a pair of fraying shorts. To top off her entire look her knees were bloody. She knew now wasn't the time to be thinking of these things but she internally laughed. She was a mess. Ryuji came out of the bathroom and silently patched up her /

That's just how things were these days. No one talked much honestly. It saddened her, but with university and working, none of her friends had time anymore. Of course, it's not like her friends were the only problem. Taking modeling seriously was a much harder task then she originally /

"Ann?" Ryuji asked, placing the final bandaid on her /

"Mmm," she replied, words caught in her /

"Do you… need to talk? Or something? I mean, if not that's cool you just seem.." He trailed off, not sure how to finish. Ann /

"I've just… been having nightmares is all" ann replied, breath /

"Oh, is it Shiho again?" He inquired, placing a hand on top of hers. A blush would've been seen on her cheeks had it not been for the redness from her crying. She had forgotten she confided in Ryuji and Akira when the nightmares about Shiho first started. She only shook her head no. She didn't think she'd ever had to face anyone about her nightmares, nevermind the one she was dreaming /

"Phantom thieves shit?" He asked again. Ann hesitated for a moment before shaking her head yes, worried that if she opened her mouth tears would spill /

"Ann please, I wanna help, talk to me. I hate seeing you like this" He cooed. Ryuji had surprisingly grown a lot softer since their time in the metaverse. Although he'd never admit it. The group generally thought it had something to do with him being able to move /

"I…" Before Ann could get another word out the tears spilled, and her floodgate emotions opened /

"I hate you so much. You almost left me all alone. On that damn ship, with that damn thumbs up. Every single night I revisit that time in a more gruesome way than the last. I could've fucking lost you Ryuji! Every time I think of that I wanna kill myself. I wanna die Ryuji. These dreams push me to the edge. First I almost lose Shiho, and then you! If I lost you… Hell Ryuji… I'd… Fuck… I…. How do you even react to losing someone you love. And yea I love all the phantom thieves, but compared to them, you. You do that stupid shit with your damn mouth and if you died I couldn't see it anymore. That'd kill me because I love you so much, and I don't want to be in a world without you, but I almost was. And it's selfish of me to think this way. To want this. I was horrible to you. I should've stopped Kamoshida. If I could go back in time, and sell my body to him in exchange for keeping you safe I would. I mean if I just… You would've… and the track-" Chapped lips covered hers, and her mind went into shutdown mode. Instinctively her eyes shut and she moved closer to the warm body in front of her. They stayed like that for a while. Lips locked as she sat on the counter and he stood in front of her. Tears slowly stopped leaking from her eyes as he pulled /

"Ann you gotta stop blaming yourself, I got my leg broken because I was a rowdy asshole. No way around that. You be Kamoshida's girl wouldn't have changed that. I mean he hated me… and I'm sorry. I… Didn't think of after that fact. I mean sure I was scared. What if I died but, at that time protecting you, getting you to safety was a way bigger priority. I know. I effed up, I should've thought, but hell if I didn't you, everyone, we'd all be gone. And as for 'that stupid shit with my mouth' I don't think it can be considered stupid with how you reacted." He gave her a light-hearted but cocky smirk. A laugh escaped her lips because of course, Ryuji would make a joke in this /

"I meant your dumb smile, idiot" Ann giggled. A smile gracing her /

"It's 4 AM I think it's time someone gets some sleep" Ryuji offered her a hand to get off the counter. She took it and jumped /

"Well uhh, I should go-"br /

"No!" Ann yelled desperately, grabbing his shirt sleeve. A blush took over both their faces. "I-I mean… please… stay the night?" Ann asked shyly. Cheeks redder than her panther suit. Ryuji laughed and shook his /

"Alright," he answered, a gentle smile on his lips./p

pThe next afternoon Ann awoke from what could be described as the best sleep in her life ever. Underneath her, Ryuji snored away peacefully sprawled out across her mattress. Only confirming that earlier this morning, had happened. She walked into the kitchen, knees still stiff and sore. The white bag from the 7/11 sat on the counter and she peered inside. Inside we're some energy drinks, some chips, and another smaller bag. She peeked, knowing she shouldn't and inside were the Sweedish fish she had been meaning to buy. A laugh escaped her lips. Of course, the reason he hadn't caught up to her out of shape ass was that he bought her the candies she /

From behind her nervous, but strong arms wrapped around /

"I know this is cliche and shit, and like we just confessed, and haven't even done that date bull or whatever but… wanna like, be official" Ryuji coughed out, hiding his face in her curly blonde hair. Ann let out another /

"A kiss doesn't count as a confession" she giggled opening her /

"Mmmm…. effing fine. Ann Takamaki, I love you, will you… be my girlfriend" Ryuji mumbled. Ann felt her face heat up and she played with the candy in her /

"Y-yea. I love you too" She whispered, leaning back into his embrace. The two stayed like that for a while. In pure bliss.


End file.
